Category: Joke Board
Santa's a Woman
I think Santa Claus is a woman....I hate to be the one to defy a sacred myth, but I believe he's a she. Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull it all off!
For starters, the vast majority of men don't even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve. Once at the mall, they always seem surprised to find only Ronco products, socket wrench sets, and mood rings left on the shelves. On this count alone, I'm convinced Santa is a woman.
Surely, if he were a man, everyone in the universe would wake up Christmas morning to find a rotating musical Chia Pet under the tree, still in the bag.
Another problem for a he-Santa would be getting there. First of all, there would be no reindeer because they would all be dead, gutted and strapped to the rear bumper of the sleigh amid wide-eyed, desperate claims that buck season had been extended. Blitzen's rack would already be on the way to the taxidermist.
Even if the male Santa DID have reindeer, he'd still have transportation problems because he would inevitably get lost up there in the snow and clouds and then refuse to stop and ask for directions.
Other reasons why Santa can't possibly be a man:
Men can't pack a bag.
Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet.
Men don't answer their mail.
Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described even in jest as anything remotely resembling a "bowlful of jelly."
Men aren't interested in stockings unless somebody's wearing them.
Having to do the Ho Ho Ho thing would seriously inhibit their ability to pick up women.
Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment.
Omg rofl
lol...that's all I have to say about that.
lmao love it, totally agree!
lol Good one.
haha, I really liked that. And you know, I never thought of it that way, lololol
This is great. I've been looking for some good Christmas jokes. Thanks.
ha ha ha! your wrong, no woman would get dirty going down the chimney! I could hear it now, I broke a nail!! hahahahahahaha was a funny joke!
You do have some points, though that horrid song "santa baby" that I keep hearing on the radio makes me think that he still might be able to "get a woman."
well you gotta figure Santa's pretty old...a woman ain't gonna help him.
Lol!
Love it! Can agree with most of it. And about a woman going down the chimney, no way! She'd put those manicured nails to good use, and use one of them to pick people's locks instead. And if Santa were a man, the big belly wouldn't be because of all the milk and cookies, it'd be a beer belly. lol! I'm done.